When teen dating becomes too much
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In fact, all parents should do this whether their teens are contemplating a sexual relationship or not.
Maintain the Parent-Teen Relationship Coyne stresses the importance of keeping the parent-teen relationship intact before, during, and after a romantic relationship."Our teens will be more likely to make good decisions when they understand the reasons behind a certain principle.Keeping lines of communication open, trusting and respecting your teen, and showing moderate amounts of control will go much further in preventing sexual behavior than locking [teens] in their bedrooms," continues Coyne.Coyne encourages parents to be respectful of their teen's loss.Even though you, as an experienced adult, know that Mr. Right will come along later, it's hard for a teen to see into the future when the present feels so hopeless.Unless you think the relationship is unhealthy, try counsel rather than force.
Dealing with the Breakup Typical high school relationships last from four to six months, so parents need to be prepared for the end of the relationship--and the end of the world, as your teen might perceive it.How should parents react to this newfound independence? "In general, you want to be supportive of your child and respectful of their wishes." One of the best things that parents can do to support their child is to make a sincere attempt to meet and form a relationship with their teen's boyfriend or girlfriend. Make sure he or she knows that discussing the relationship is important.If you invite them to family functions, you will be able to see how they interact and keep an eye on the relationship to make sure it's a healthy one. Ask your teen what qualities he or she especially likes about their dating partner, what makes that person special, and what they enjoy doing together. Finally, ask your child, "What are some rules you have set for yourself?The Big Talk Even if you want to be supportive of your child's feelings, remember that you are still the parent. " and "Here are some rules that we, as your parents, feel are important." Helping them choose their own (reasonable) dating rules means that they will take those guidelines seriously."If parents tend to act like 'it's my way or the highway,' teens will usually rebel," says Coyne."Try to understand and respect the intensity of your teen's feelings.